✨Im Literary Anxious✨

𝗘𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲🕒: 2 minutes

𝗔𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿: Eva Ashwood      ✍🏻𝗣𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁:  418📖

𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀:⭐⭐⭐.5
𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗰𝗲:🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁: Standalone
𝗘𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲: HAE
𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝘆𝗹𝗲: Multi-POV

“𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚. 𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠. 𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡. 𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙪𝙨, 𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣’𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙧?”

🧁 Curvy MFC
❄️ Pierced MMCs (Yes. All three. Yes, it matters. 🥵)
🧁 Ex’s Older Brothers
❄️ Small-Town Romance
🧁 Why Choose
❄️ Fake Dating
🧁 Forced Proximity
❄️ Questionable Ornament Use

The author signs the dedication with “Merry smutmas bitches,” and honestly? Accurate. The smut was, in fact, very merry.

Was this the greatest book I’ve ever read? Eh.

Did I still enjoy myself? Absolutely.

Violet was genuinely likable—sweet, grounded, and clearly carrying around approximately 98% of her trauma courtesy of her trash-tier mother and nightmare sister.

Oh, and let’s not forget the ex who’s now engaged to said sister. Sir, respectfully, choke.

So what do you do when you’re cornered at a family dinner with the dreaded “So… who are you dating?” (mind your business, Susan), and your ex’s three brothers all answer at the same time? Obviously, you move them into your one-bed, one-bath house and fake date them. Duh. Romance logic.

One fun twist on the why choose trope: these brothers cannot stand each other. There’s unresolved family drama, a massive falling out, and constant bickering—because nothing says holiday cheer like three grown men who hate each other sharing a roof.

Predictably, all three fall hard for Violet (as they should), her mom remains a menace, and Isabelle is—without exaggeration—a cunt and a half for the entire book.

Now.

The smut.

Yes, it’s good. Cozy-up-on-a-cold-winter-night good.

However. I have grievances.

I’m deep in a Christmas romance binge right now, which means I’ve encountered more creative uses of holiday paraphernalia than I ever asked for. But an ornament as a butt plug? A GLASS ornament?!?

I’m sorry, but how am I supposed to enjoy that when all I can think about is the very real possibility of it shattering and landing someone on a hospital’s “Things We’ve Pulled Out of Butts” list pinned in a staff breakroom somewhere? Festive, but no.

And one more thing while I’m already on my soapbox:

A man gets hit by a car, is thrown, and his head bounces off the ground… and he’s just up and functioning the next day? No. Absolutely not. This is contemporary romance, not paranormal. He’s not immortal. He’s just some dude in flannel. A head meeting concrete like that is a big deal, actually.

The Bottom Line:

Messy? Yes.

Fun? Also yes.

If you’re here for holiday chaos, brotherly tension, fake dating shenanigans, and plenty of spice, you’ll have a good time—as long as you can suspend disbelief about both human anatomy and Christmas ornaments.